Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

5 things to know about Bruins 1st-round pick James Hagens - Boston.com

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand how hurricane paths work

How to reduce the age of the heart by 20 years - Times of India

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

The Largest Black Hole Jet Ever Found Is 3 Times the Size of the Milky Way - The Daily Galaxy

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why do narcissist move on so easily?

I actually pay taxes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

See how the national debt grew to more than $36 trillion - The Washington Post

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What are some good books on AI ethics?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I see through liars

Derek Carr explains his decision to give up $30 million and retire - NBC Sports

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Anker issues new global recall for five power bank models over fire hazard - 9to5Mac

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Father who killed 3 daughters was 'active dad' but the 'system failed' him, ex-wife's attorney says - ABC News

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How do I become a Buddhist, and can someone explain Buddhism to me?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Apple's latest CarPlay update revives something Android Auto did right 10 years ago [Gallery] - 9to5Google

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

'Hertz Would Never:' Man Gets Pulled Over In a Rental. Then He Reaches For the Enterprise Car’s Registration - Motor1.com

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality